Get Curious, not Furious!

Last week I invited you to think about what you want more of, what you want less of, and what you want to practice.

How is it going?

Did you come up with some great ideas, and feel inspired, energized, motivated?

And then the rest of the day and week happened, and maybe you got sidetracked, distracted, or discouraged. Maybe you're having a hard time remembering what it was that you wanted to practice, and why. And now you're angry, frustrated or disappointed with yourself.

"I hate that I always do this."
"I'm an idiot; I'll never figure this out."
"Maybe this just isn't in the cards for me."

This feels like a good time for our next principle:

"Get curious, not furious"

Getting furious makes sense from a physiological point of view. Our nervous systems are hardwired with "negativity bias" - that means we think about and remember negative things more often than positive things. (Read more about it in Chapter 2 of Power of the Pause)

Getting furious isn't bad. There are plenty of things in life worth getting furious about. Feeling discontent, frustrated or angry tells us that there's something important at stake, something to pay attention to.

The problem with getting (and staying) furious is that it puts your Sympathetic Nervous System (the fight or flight branch) in control. When that happens, your thought process is affected, and you are more likely to make choices that don't serve you, that you later regret. If you've ever wished you could go back in time and do or say something differently, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

When you feel furious, Pausing and getting curious is a great way of giving yourself time and space to decide with a clearer head and heart how you want to respond, what choices you want to make, what you want to change.

How do you get better at curiosity?

Practice, of course!

Think about a time when you felt angry or frustrated.
Imagine you're in that situation right now.
Pause. Check in with your body. Feel your breath. Feel your feet on the ground.
Get curious about what your anger or frustration is telling you.
What is important to you?
How do you want to respond the next time this happens?

We can learn a lot when we choose to pay attention to what our sensations and emotions are telling us. I think that's why I'm so compelled to share this work.

One of the ways I'm planning to share the work is with an online course - a sort of hybrid of the work from the book and from the coaching world. There will be live webinars, recorded content and 1:1 support. I'm offering a pilot run beginning in March, and will share details in the coming weeks.

If filtering out the noise and connecting to your inner wisdom is something you're working towards, I'd love to support you - through 1:1 coaching, the upcoming course, or in an exploratory conversation - reach out here to schedule your conversation: