How are your boundaries?

A quick google search on "setting boundaries" got 305 million results in .20 seconds. (Are we surprised that there is so much advice out there around boundary setting?) I can't speak for anyone else, but boundaries can be challenging for me.

Are you someone who thinks about boundaries?
How do you set your boundaries?
How do you enforce them?
When are you reluctant to set or enforce boundaries?
How do you react when others set boundaries for themselves?

We're human beings in relationship with other human beings.

We each have our own unique filters for our experiences. We inhabit the same world but we don't all experience it the same way. It's not surprising that we get into trouble when we think people should see things the same way we do. But somehow, we still do...

I'd like to offer you a different way of thinking about boundaries this week.

You may have observed that I love metaphors, AND I especially love sourcing metaphors from the natural world.

Today I invite you to imagine boundaries as cellular membranes.

I know, I know - it might seem like is definitely a bit of stretch, but bear with me.

Every living organism has cellular membranes.

Cellular membranes protect and offer the structure needed for cells to perform their various functions. They're semipermeable, allowing for movement of nutrients and waste in and out of the cells, and for communication between cells. If the membrane is too rigid or too soft, the cell dies. If the membrane is too permeable or not permeable enough, the cell dies. (The echoes of Goldilocks' "just right" here appeal to me.)

Cells don't just float around untethered inside us, bumping up against each other willy-nilly. They are organized within an extracellular matrix that keeps them together and communicating with each other, hydrates and cushions them, and gives them strength and elasticity.

We're individuals and we exist in communities.

We have our boundaries and we have the relationships that connect us to each other, and provide us with protection, nourishment, stability and adaptability.

Are your cell walls more permeable in one direction than another?
Where are they too rigid? Too flexible?
What would you like to release more of?
What do you absorb more of?
How do you communicate with your extracellular matrixes, your communities, to keep yourself safe and secure, strong and flexible?

What do you want to do this week to tend to your boundaries?

Make Friends With Stress

As I talk to people about stress, overwhelm and nervous system regulation, I hear them saying they want tools they can practice, not more theory.

If trying to beat stress isn't working, how would you feel about trying a different approach?

If you're caught in repeating cycles of stress and overwhelm, and you need a new strategy, I'm now offering monthly webinars and workshops that offer practical and immediate tools for dealing with stress in the short term, and growing long-term resilience.

The first free webinar is on Tuesday, March 24 at 7pm ET, and I'd love for you to join me.