The Miracle Question

I don't know about you, but I kind of hate rules. Not all rules - things like don't steal, don't kill, stay on the right-hand side of the road - those come in handy.

I'm talking about the rules that usually involve the words "They say", "you should", "never do ____". Rules might be effective for controlling certain situations, but they rarely invite us to connect with our intuition and values. And they almost never leave room for choice.

I prefer to use principles. One of the principles that guides me is "Cultivate Ease." When I refer to Ease, I don't mean absence of work, but feelings of being calm, relaxed. In nervous system terms, it means being in Parasympathetic (rest & digest) dominance vs. Sympathetic (stress, fight or flight) dominance.

When we're stressed we can't think straight, our connective tissue gets tight, digestive & immune systems are compromised. Not really a great place to make decisions from, unless you're looking to create more stress.

One of the questions I like to ask my clients, students, and myself is:

"What can you do to make this easier?"

What happens in your body when you hear that question? What happens in your mind? What choices emerge that you haven't considered?

Today, when you feel your teeth clenching, when you've got a tricky situation at work or in a relationship, when something feels hard - - I invite you to Pause and ask yourself,

"What can I do to make this easier?"

Hold the answers gently. Don't dismiss them. Start to rewire your neural pathways.

When I was doing my yoga teacher training almost 25 years ago, none of my anatomy books even mentioned the Vagus Nerve. We now know it plays a vital role in nervous system regulation, helping make that shift from "Fight or Flight" to "Rest and Digest", and it's wonderful that more and more people are learning about it. Here's an article about the Vagus Nerve that might help you understand it a bit more.

There are a couple of chapters in my book devoted to nervous system regulation, and exercises throughout to help you learn how to work with your nervous system to create more ease, more often, in your life. I also include nervous system work in my classes and in my coaching work. Curious about how any of these options can help you? I'd be happy to chat with you!