Time to get serious.

About Fun.

If you've been with me for a while, you'll know I'm a big fan of "both/and"

Our nervous systems, in their ongoing mission to find safety in certainty, gravitate toward "either/or". When I know for sure something is good or bad, my brain doesn't need to spend energy on it. The judgment is made and I move on to the next thing. (More about black and white thinking here)

"Either/or" is completely normal and understandable, but it can get in the way when it comes to navigating the complexities of being a human. We almost never just feel one thing at a time.

You know you can be scared, angry and relieved in the space of a few moments when the partner or kid who forget to check in finally does.

And you've probably felt awe, delight and sadness at the fleeting beauty of spring blossoms.

What I've been tripping over lately is an either/or in my mind about fun and seriousness.

That if something is important, I have to take it seriously - that injecting fun, pleasure or enjoyment somehow diminishes the value and impact of important work. Or that fun and enjoyment should be the reward after important and impactful work, but certainly not part of the process.

I'm sure there are old stories at play - as there often are when we find ourselves stuck, or when the word "should" comes up. Stories that place serious, important, and impactful in one room and fun, enjoyment, and pleasure in another. Why do I feel like something important can't also be fun, enjoyable? That sincerity and light-heartedness can't go hand in hand?

There are threads that each of us could tug on that would give us more information about how these judgments reflect our values and our sense of self-worth.

What I keep coming back to is this:

I like myself better when I'm having fun, when I'm enjoying myself, than when I'm trying to be serious.

And that ain't nothin'. Time to get serious about bringing a sense of fun and enjoyment into all parts of my life - especially those I care deeply about.

• What does it mean to you to be a serious person, or to do serious work?

• How do fun and enjoyment fit into your values system?

• When do you like yourself the most? When do you most enjoy being you?

• What would it look and feel like to bring more both/and around fun, enjoyment, important and serious into your life?

Bonus points for synchronicity - I thought it was just me, but it seems I'm not alone. As I was pondering the thoughts I've just shared, this article from my friend Graham Strong (who was the editor of my book!) showed up in my inbox. In it he shares his "indisputable" mathematical proof about fun, writing, creativity and production.