How to fix yourself

It's a trick - there's nothing to fix.

Over the past week or two, I've been noticing that people are feeling stuck - whether it's writer's block, feelings of inertia, or being crippled by overwhelm, the same thread is appearing:

"I can't do ________ the way I usually do, or expect to do, so there's something wrong with me that I need to fix."

I know this because I've been feeling it myself. It's a bit - no a lot - humbling and ironic that I've written a book about growing resilience and have rarely felt as stressed as I've felt over the past few weeks. I guess I get to practice what I preach!

I'm a firm believer that every person is whole and complete, even (or especially) when they think they're broken. So, if feeling stuck resonates with you, please remind yourself that a) you're not alone, and b) you're not broken.

How can this be an opportunity to get curious (not furious) about and reframe whatever's going on right now?

Here are a couple of reframes that you may find helpful:

To everything there is a season. Germination, ripening, harvest, rest... Each season is necessary, and requires a different energy and level of attention. What are you working on right now? Does it need fertilizing, pruning, sunshine and space, harvesting, or deep rest for the next growing?

A friend of mine says, "this isn't happening to me, it's happening for me." What can you learn from your stuckness, stress or overwhelm? How can your challenges remind you of your strengths, your values, your worthy goals? (And don't worry, if you choose not to learn from the situation this time around, it will pop up again!)

As for me, I'm reminding myself that harvesting is hard work, and I'm saying no to other things right now, knowing there will be time and energy for them (and more clarity, too!) when the crop is in. I'm reminding myself that each challenge I move through helps grow my resilience, practicing gratitude each day, and trusting I'm exactly where I need to be right now.

• How do you reframe your challenges?

• What are the tools or perspectives that you use?

• What do you need to do to trust yourself and know you've got this?

If the seasons metaphor resonates, you might enjoy Katherine May's "Wintering". (I'm pretty sure I recommend it about this time every year) The subtitle is "The power of rest and retreat in difficult times", and the book is a lovely invitation to view our fallow times in new ways. I think I'm ready for a re-read...