Welcoming vs. Pushing Away

A while back, I was dealing with a challenging situation in which complicated and conflicting emotions were surfacing. The insight from a counsellor that made a difference for me?

"There's room for everything at the table"

As human beings we have the capacity to hold many things at once. Emotions, thoughts, sensations... we can feel several of them simultaneously, and in an infinite variety of combinations. I didn't have to push away any of what I was feeling. It was all valid.

Feeling one emotion doesn't negate the experience of the other. You can feel love and frustration, excitement and fear, grief and joy at the same time.

Putting up with vs. Welcoming

It's one thing to say there's room at the table for fear and resentment along with joy and celebration, but it sure is hard to make eye contact, isn't it?

What would it be like to welcome the difficult emotions and thoughts? To pull out the chair for anger or guilt, fill up their glass, and ask them about their day - and then really listen. Listen without trying to push them out the door or trying to fix or change them.

I suspect we might learn something about them. About ourselves. And some healing could take place.

What emotions or thoughts are you reluctant to welcome?
What might happen if you welcomed them, even if just for a few minutes?
If you're feeling brave, sit down with a difficult feeling and listen.

And if you're so inclined, hit "reply" and let me know what happened.

This beautiful substack piece about connecting with others was shared with me last week, and I would love to share it with you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!