How productive are you?

Why is it that we sometimes think our value or worthiness is tied to our output?

My calendar is different every week, and I often have small gaps of time between clients, meetings, classes or other commitments. 15 minutes here, 30 minutes there. Not enough time to get into the tasks that need more focus, but enough to tackle smaller items on my to-do list.

Surely I could be making better use of those hours.

But I haven't been, and those chunks of time add up. Wasted time. And I've been quite hard on myself around it.

I was complaining about this to my coach a few weeks ago, and she asked me how doing nothing in those times can benefit me. And I realized that those moments were opportunities for self-care. For the tending to my own energy that is necessary in order for me to be present to the people I work with. For recharging my batteries with food, movement, time outdoors, chatting with a neighbour, or doodling and daydreaming.

So I gave myself permission to let go of needing to fill those little gaps in my schedule with "productive" work. Instead of seeing those gaps as multiple failures in each week, they're now gifts - precious because they give me the opportunity to check in with myself, and to care for myself in ways that benefit all areas of my life, including my work.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if we do more, we are more.

But sometimes the relentless doing makes us unable to connect with who we're being. Holding the reins a little less tightly doesn't mean we have less control - it actually helps us see the big picture more clearly, gives us more freedom, more choice, and the ability to bring more creativity and energy into our doing.

How does "not-enoughness" show up in your life?

• Guilt or shame for not doing enough?

• Perfectionism?

• Control

• Comparing yourself to others and coming up short?

These behaviours benefit us in the short-term by perpetuating the illusion of control - they offer our nervous systems certainty. But they often disconnect us from how we really want to show up in our lives, relationships, work.

Contemplating a different way of showing up - letting go of perfectionism, comparing, control - is really challenging. No matter how badly you want change, your nervous system will try to prevent it. Change is uncertainty. Uncertainty creates stress.

The good news is that you can work with your nervous system to create safety, so change doesn't feel so difficult or stressful.

It starts with a Pause, with feeling inward.

That's the world I love to play in - in my book, my movement classes, and my coaching.

If you're contemplating a different way of showing up in your life, but don't know where to start, book yourself in for a conversation with me - I'm happy to chat about what that might look (and feel) like for you - no pressure, no obligation.