Safety First!

Last week I wrote about letting go - that it's not and action, but a result of feeling safe. Why does safety play such a huge role in how our nervous systems respond or react to stress?

The stress response is part of our human evolution that has been taking place over millions of years. When our cave-dwelling ancestors were in danger, the stress response would bypass the thinking and reasoning part of their brains and boost their strength to help them fight the enemy, or get away from the bear, the edge of the cliff, the heat of the fire... That stress response was necessary - it kept them alive.

But it wasn't just the bear in front of our ancestors that was dangerous - the unknown and unfamiliar also held potential risks. It made sense to fear and avoid people from another tribe or clan when competition for food and resources could be a matter of life or death. An unfamiliar food could be poisonous - better stay away from that.

People who avoided the unknown and unfamiliar lived longer. People who could run away from or fight off the bear lived longer. The wiring of the stress response in their nervous systems was like a big flashing DANGER sign that helped them live longer and pass on their DNA to us.

This is all to say, once again, that STRESS ISN'T BAD.

The stress response is your nervous system operating as it should to keep you safe.

Here's how it works:

You probably already know about the Sympathetic (fight or flight) and Parasympathetic (rest & digest) branches of the nervous system. When things are humming along nicely and your nervous system perceives you're safe, the parasympathetic branch (PNS) is dominant, powering and regulating your heart rate, temperature, immune response, digestion, hormones and breathing - keeping the plant running. If you've ever noticed your stomach growling when you're relaxing in yoga class or on a massage table, you've witnessed your parasympathetic nervous system responding to you feeling safe!

When a threat is perceived, the sympathetic branch of your nervous system (SNS) takes over and releases hormones that trigger your stress response. The SNS uses as much energy as possible to power your stress response - heart & respiratory rates increase to send extra blood and oxygen to large muscle groups, and senses are heightened so you can see and hear more clearly.

Which means there's less energy available to regulate digestion, immune response, etc. The stress response is involuntary, bypassing your thought processes. With your stress response is running the show, your memory, focus, and complex problem-solving abilities are affected. You're less able to manage distractions and regulate your emotions.

Have you ever looked back on a stressful situation and thought, "I know exactly what I should have done - why didn't I think of it then?"

Proof in real life that stress affects your ability to think clearly.

In a healthy nervous system, the dominance shifts automatically between PNS and SNS. After the threat has passed, when you feel safe again, your brain and body return to PNS dominance, to those regulatory "keep the plant running" functions.

So how can an email or phone call trigger that stress response, even if you're not in any physical danger?

Most of us no longer have to worry about the bear. And those of us lucky enough to have been born into this time and place are not in immediate threat from the tribe down the river or up the valley. But we still have the hard-wiring in place that makes us suspicious of the unknown and unfamiliar, of those who don't belong,

When we are faced with the uncertainty of change, the fear of not fitting in, something (or someone) new and unfamiliar in our world, our nervous systems can still try to protect us from that change by flashing that old DANGER sign again, even when we're not in physical danger.

When you are able to create safety, and feel safety in your body, you can become more aware of the ways you respond to stress, and help your nervous system to feel safe - during challenging conversations, when you're facing new and unfamiliar situations or people, when you're feeling stuck or deeply uncomfortable with the changes you're trying to make in your life...

When you feel stress showing up this week, what's going on?

• Something new or unfamiliar?

• Something that challenges your comfort zone?

• A difficult conversation or situation that has you questioning what you think you know?

• Uncertainty that comes with change?

Where and how can you feel safety?

Helping people create safety is a big part of the work I do.

Join me for a free webinar on Tuesday, September 15 at 7pm ET, and you'll learn how to start working with your nervous system and take the first steps toward creating safety and shifting your relationship to stress. I'd love for you to join me.